I received an email today and it made me feel like I am doing the right thing in regards to my employment and my children. I work part time and even though there are months when money is really tight I'm still home with my children and they are not being raised by a daycare center. When I lived in Everett I was away from my kids 11 hours a day. A DAY!!! That is insane. I did that for a year and 1/2. I'm surprised my children remembered who I was. Here is a part of what I was sent... You go mom...... you probably wont get that corner office.... but then you probably wont wonder what your daughters and grandchildren are doing at Christmas while you sit at home alone or rotting away in a nursing home... you chose to invest in THEM... not you... Which investment has a larger return? Look into their eyes and see your future....as they look into your eyes and see their past. There is absolutely no way words can express what this email meant to me. I'm a single mom. That does not make me unique by any stretch. But...I'm a good mom and I'm proud of my children and who I am. Not all choices that I've made have been in the best interest of everyone involved but I've come out on the better end. I'm doing a good job and I have wonderful children to show for it. I know that when I am old I can look back on my life and not have any regrets. That makes it all worthwhile.
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...