Well I'm at work today. Still a bit weak but I'm a trooper and I'm here. Besides...I can't afford to take off 2 days in a row. Sucks being a single mom. Mark called this morning and invited me to Barrel Tasting at a couple of the wineries but seeing how I have a test to take tomorrow...yes AGAIN!!!....I won't be having any wine tonight. Bummer. The Barrel Tasting is going on all weekend so I'm not going to be seeing much of Mark. Again....bummer. I have a house to clean this weekend anyway. I suppose I will survive. *sigh* ;) Maybe I will paint my bedroom. How exciting is that??? I'm a bit worried about my kitten, Poto. The poor little thing's eyes haven't even remotely come close to opening. All of the other kittens are open or really close to being open. They are 2 weeks old today. If Poto ends up blind then the name is very appropriate. The Phantom had a deformity/handicap and so would my little kitty. She/he is the sweetest little thing. Loves to have it's tummy scratched/rubbed, will give me kitty kisses and will purr. I'm completely in love with it. :) Lunch...I really need lunch.
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...