There is nothing like being woken up by a truck with roofers pulling into the neighbors driveway. If the guys were cute...I could accept it. LOL 8:00 on a Saturday morning is not cool!!! At least it's a gorgeous day and the wind has stopped blowing.
J and I are planting Sweet Pea's today. I love those!!! They smell sooooo good but they don't last long enough. I should view it as a little beauty from them is better than none at all. I really don't feel up to yard work today but it really needs to get done. What I want to do is go for a drive. No real destination in mind. I haven't done that for a long time. Last time I believe I was still with Darren. On Sunday's we would hop in his rig and go for a drive. It was very relaxing. I just thought of something though...with gas at $2.89 a gallon....I'm doing yardwork today. Well that took care of that now didn't it? LOL Blasted roofers!!! I could have used another hour of sleep. Grrrr....
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...