Whew! Today is over. I am completely thankful for that. The whole day went by so fast that I didn't have much time to think about anything. Well I did but didn't totally dwell too much. I have some wonderful friends who have given me some amazing words of wisdom, advice and just plain sympathy. I'm doing much better now. Kind of surprises me. A year ago I would have been moping, dwelling and stewing about it for days if not weeks. It's been almost 24 hours since the conversation and I'm ok. I like that. :) It's dark out and I want to be out in my yard working on the flowerbeds. I can't do that right now. The reason? It's dark out. It's also darned cold. I should just go have my pineapple/coconut rum thing and go to bed. I didn't get a whole heck of a lot of sleep last night so sleep would be a good thing. Maybe even a nice hot shower. Ok...no shower but jammies and a pineapple num-num is a must. :) Oh...this is just for Tigger...the last part of "When Harry Met Sally"....:) Thought I forgot didn't ya? LOL
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...