Remember my dating question a few weeks ago? Well I was thinking today and I don't want to be someone who goes out with a guy just for the free dinner. I want to be totally interested in him...which I was not for the $60 Outb*ck fiasco. I was talked into going out by the person who is dating him now. *rolling my eyes* I've done the dating just to go out for dinner and have some fun. I want more than that. I've realized I want someone who is willing to accept me for who I am and as sad as this sounds...who is willing to spend money on me. My last relationship...we all know how that went...was with a self proclaimed cheapskate. Ask him...he will tell you. LOL I'm sorry but spending $60 on me is not enough to get my attention much less get me into bed. If a man wants me...he is going to have to work for it. I will not be a $60 whore. :) I'm more expensive than that. LOL Am I going to end up alone? Maybe. But why would I settle for processed cheese when I can hold out for the Brie? Hmmm....answer me that. ;)
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...