I have the most wonderful friends. I can always depend on them for pretty much anything. I need someone on Friday night to watch J for me. I'm taking my exam oh ugly early Saturday morning. My friend Debbie was more than happy to take J for the night. Her daughter loves J. Interesting as this may seem and quite possibly odd...Darren and I are turning out to be friends. We discuss the dating scene, our plans for the summer, music, the band, my girls. It's nice. Pretty much what we did when we first met. Don't worry...I have no romantic feelings toward him. Everything is in perspective. Darren and I both know we fouled things up between us but we have learned from our mistakes and know what not to do with the next relationship. :) See? Some good did come from the bad.
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...