I need a notepad in every room around the house. I will get an idea on what I want to post here and then when I get the chance to post...do I remember what I wanted to write? NO!!! That just makes me grrrrr.... My birthday is in 3 weeks. (The Phantom as a gift is all I ask.) Bean and I were talking about it and she mentioned that I need to have a 40th birthday party. I told her I won't be turning 40. I will be 39 on a permanent basis. The number 40 just scares the heck out of me. No offense to those of you who are 40. ;) This year I may have some plans for my birthday which is pretty cool since I very seldom do anything for it. We shall see if it pans out or ends up dead in the water. If it dies...there is always Teriyaki chicken and gyoza. ;) As for my 40th...Bean is all excited about planning it...aren't ya, Beanie? :D
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...