Life has a way of putting things into perspective. I've been putting up with some drama that I will admit some was self-imposed. Yesterday put everything back into perspective as to how trivial all of it was. I received an email from a close and dear friend. She doesn't like to take things too seriously and will find a way to make light of a subject so people feel at ease. Well with this email I wanted to slap her with the lightness. Seems that she is having some problems with some dizziness and nausea. She has had one MRI and will be going in for a CT scan and another MRI today. She said she is thinking the worst and she has a tumor. How is that for making the garbage with Kim meaningless? God has ways of getting your attention but I wish He hadn't chosen a good friend of mine to do it. :( Prayers....please send up lots and lots of prayers. Our friendship means a lot to me and I can't lose her. Neither can her kids and husband.
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...